As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! Amen!
Here we are. What a rejoicing to be at the wedding of a couple who have given themselves to the Lord. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be at such an occasion. It is a great joy to see young people who, even in this matter that strikes our innermost heart so deeply, would put the Lord first above everything else. So we are here to rejoice with them.
They asked me to speak at their wedding. I am a kind of thoughtful guy so I began to consider, “What is marriage?” It is two persons coming together. They have two lives, two natures, two ways of doing things, and two dispositions. They have different ideas and different temperaments. If one is hot the other is likely to be cold. There are two lives coming together here today to have one life, a life together. This is not going to be simple; this is never simple. It isn’t the big things, often times, but the many, many little things become hard to take.
Before, I was a single person, not a child anymore, but someone who had somewhat grown up. I was independent by myself for some time. So, when I wanted to do something, I just did it. When I wanted to go somewhere, I just went. Whatever I felt, I did. If I was somewhat spiritual, I prayed about it and then I went. But now everything is a little different. I think I should go there but what does my wife think. Even in trivial things—I am hot, I want to open the window—not that simple. In my own case, often I just wanted to relax. I just wanted to relax, but my wife has this, that, the other thing for me to do. One brother called it the “honey do” list. When the children come it is even more complicated. Here is another one with another life, another will and another feeling. If we remain in ourselves, if we hold on to ourselves, then we will become frustrated by not getting our own way. These kinds of things begin to spoil the marriage relationship. The love that was once so sweet turns into bitterness and the husband and wife begin to blame one another.
It might seem that it is better not to get married. The thing is that the Lord made us this way. We need marriage. Very few of us have the ability to have a proper human life without getting married. We need it. The Lord made us this way and yet its so hard.
Why did the Lord make us in such a way that we need someone else to be with us all the time, to bother us all the time, to limit us, and to push us this way or that way? The Lord has a plan; the Lord desires His Bride. The Lord desires a bride that would match Him. Where was He going to find such a Bride? In His marvelous plan He made man. He wanted a corporate Bride from among men. But He wants a Bride that matches Him and what we are is altogether not matching Him. So how is He going to get that Bride?
The Lord needed a way to deal with us; He needed a way to conform us to His image. The most practical thing, the most daily thing, the most moment by moment and day by day thing is our life together with our spouse. This life in such a close relationship with another person gives the Lord a way to deal with us in many fine details. Then the Lord has a way to bring us into the reality of the spiritual teachings that seemed so wonderful when we heard them but were still somewhat theoretical to us. We heard messages, we saw something of God’s purpose and our spirit was stirred within. We received a kind of vision for our living and yet somehow it wasn’t that practical to us. How can the Lord bring us into spiritual reality? The most practical way and the way we have heard many times in many kinds of illustrations is in the family life. The Lord in His wisdom has made us to need and desire a family life.
So in my own experience, after some time in marriage, I came to the point that I was being bothered by the way my wife was treating me. I began to wonder whether I should really love her. “Should I really love her, the way she’s treating me?” Of course I was blind to the way I was treating her.... But I didn’t get very far along this line of thought before the Lord came in. He brought me to these verses in Ephesians chapter 5. He told me, “If My love to you was conditional, where would you be?” When the Lord spoke that in my heart, I had to repent. I had to turn back to the Lord and say, “Lord Jesus, Lord forgive me for even having such a thought in my heart. Your love to me is so unconditional and it’s so practical. In Your love for me, You gave Yourself to me and You have provided everything I need. You gave Yourself. You sacrificed even Your very person. You endured the shame and suffering of the cross. Lord Jesus, You gave Yourself in such a way to me and here I am with such a small heart that if I don’t get my way I want to withdraw my love from my wife to punish her. Lord Jesus forgive me.” I had to repent and I had to reconsecrate myself to the Lord. What’s more, I had to change my attitude completely toward my wife.
But still, the Lord doesn’t deal with us all at once and then we live happily ever after. This couple has spoken to us of their desire that their life and their house could be for the Lord. I had such a desire. This verse in Joshua 24:15 is so inspiring so I wanted my house to be for the Lord, but there still was a problem. I am kind of sloppy so I wasn’t too concerned how the house looked. I wanted to invite the saints over but my wife said, “You can’t invite the saints over with the house looking like this.” I began to realize that if I wanted to have the saints over whenever I wanted then I would have to help my wife around the house. I would have to help with cleaning, the dishes, the cooking—all kind of things. If my house is going to be for the Lord then I can’t just sit and stay in myself and relax the way I like to relax while my wife has to do everything. It won’t work. If I want my house to be for the Lord then my person has to change. I cannot go on the way I am. I have to go against my laziness and sloppiness to keep my house a proper testimony for the Lord and a pleasant environment for others to come into.
The Lord uses practical things to transform us. Once we give ourselves to the Lord, the Lord is very, very practical and marriage is very, very practical. I pray that the Lord would honor the testimony and desire of this young couple that their house, their whole future could be for the Lord. May they give Him a way to bring many others into the reality of Christ. This will require their cooperation day by day and step by step. At least one of them needs to be willing to turn to the Lord. If only one is willing to really turn and take the cross then that one will give the Lord a way in the home and in the relationship. It takes two to fight but it doesn’t take two give the Lord a way. Your spouse may become most unreasonable and even mean. What will you do? Will you fight back? Will you withdraw and seek comfort elsewhere? Will you seek a divorce? Or will you cast all your anxieties on the Lord and come to Him for the grace to treat your unreasonable spouse with the same grace that the Lord has shown to you?
Right at the beginning marriage is so sweet. Especially if you are really in the Lord then the honeymoon is not just a day or a week but a long time. Nevertheless, your marriage life will not be a honeymoon forever. There will be many times in many ways when you need to turn and let the Lord gain a little more in your heart. In this way you can continue going on with Him and day by day your life will be growing in the Lord. There is no better life; there is nothing more wonderful than to love and serve the Lord and let the Lord work in us. When we are in ourselves we become miserable and we make others miserable. But when we turn to the Lord and touch the spirit and let the Lord speak to us and transform us, then the Lord has a way. Our life will be a life of rejoicing, going on with the Lord and giving Him a way to bless our spouse, our family, and all who we meet.